At Night

When we close our eyes at night is when we really let our thoughts wonder, I think. Even during the day I find myself holding back, protecting my thoughts. Afraid that a passerby will accidentally slip into them and judge me based on them. That's why I can't think until night. Where no one else is around to hear me or my thoughts. But even then, I'm never really alone. Always someone is near me, in the same room or the other. Close.

Hide under the covers, no one can penetrate the shield they provide. Bring yourself to say the things you'd never say otherwise. Tell yourself, "This world, really isn't alright".

Think the thoughts you would think, and let yourself think them freely.

~*~

I can't figure it out, why do I always let my heart do this? Oh, but he's so amazing. So nice. So kind. But I wonder if I don't do it because of some masochistic tendencies.

His smile makes this burst of warmth spread through my chest. I wish it didn't.